Break-ups are the worst, and several years ago I experience one myself and it sucked. But thankfully books made it less sucky. Today I want to share with you a list of books that dulled the pain of it for me, in case they help you!
Now I am by no means a professional in the field of repairing heartbreak, but shared experiences are often comforting. I’m always grateful to books for getting me through hard times. And thankfully, persevering through the dark times with these books got me back on the horse and happy in another relationship, which is all the better for the self-growth done during the post-break-up era. So let’s take a look at five books that’ll help you get through it.
Why We Broke Up
Literally the most satisfying thing you could ever read when you’re feeling raw and sad. This book is about a girl getting rid of a box of all the things that reminds her of him/are his and she kept. We go through this box and all the random items in it – and with every item you get a back story.
Each story relates to some moments in the relationship that she remembers and had kept a token of that moment to remember it by. But looking through it from a different lens (ie, a single lens) she’s able to see how all these instances were through rose-tinted glasses and how much he really let her down.
This book is the most incredibly well-written book to capture the small, insignificant, almost impossible to communicate moments that all add up to answer the question: why we broke up. I remember reading this and finishing chapters, pointing emphatically at the page and looking at random family members going YES SEE, THIS IS WHY, THIS IS IT, THE STUPID BOTTLE CAPS. And them being very confused. But that’s not what matters, so go for it.
Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
This book was like a healing bible for me. Written by someone I, personally, had never heard of before, the title grabbed me in a moment of self-empowerment and I thought goddamn yes I will buy myself flowers if no-one else cares enough to do so.
That is the vibe of this book. Schuster will walk you through all the ways to surround yourself with people who actually care, how to cope with a broken heart, and begin to explain why things might not have worked. There are so many great coping mechanisms suggested in this book, from journalling to splurging on a bra spree, that there is likely something that will help you feel better.
Get the Guy
If you’re further along the break-up path, aka, it happened a little while ago and now you’re lonely and unsure how to reconnect with someone else because omg starting again is such an effort, this is your book. It looks cheesy, it seems weird, it’s a book you don’t want to read on the train, but it’s so reassuring and interesting.
I did the audiobook for this and I would recommend that for sure. This talks you through all the ways to help yourself get back out there and talking to other people. It’s comforting in its own right because the author himself was single, having been in and out of relationships, when he wrote this. So it supports the idea of not having to be in a relationship, but promoting healthy ways to both try and walk away from relationships that do or don’t work – and not get stuck in a holding/unhealthy pattern with yet another person.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
There’s a reason this is also on every other list you’ve googled: it’s good. I read this one because it was so popular that it felt remiss to not see what all the fuss was about. Lori, the author, counterbalances her therapy insights and anecdotes with stories of her own as she goes through a serious break-up too.
It’s a beautiful book because her own insanity of coping with the heartbreak and not understanding directly contrasts her professional appearance as she logically helps other people go through it. I love the way she comes across as both relatable – because it’s so hard to help yourself sometimes – but so informative at the same time. This will help you untangle some knots in your mind.
Sense & Sensibility
Okay I saved the best until last – and don’t roll your eyes! Sense & Sensibility is the *perfect* break-up read. I highly, highly, highly recommend that you grab a copy of the audiobook read by Rosamund Pike (the lovely lady who plays Jane alongside Keira Knightley in Pride & Prejudice) because it will make you feel less alone.
This book is all about coping with the disappointment of someone you felt sure of, someone who you knew was it, letting you down. Both the sisters, Marianne and Eleanor, deal with heartbreak in a variety of different ways. And it’s that comforting sort of read that lets you know you’re not along, whether it’s the 21st century or the 19th.
I hope wherever you’re at in this process that you’re doing okay and finding your way through. Stay strong, talk to your friends and family, and bake yourself some cakes.
… in the acuteness of the disappointment which followed such an ecstasy of more than hope, she felt as if, till that instant, she had never suffered.Sense & Sensibility, Jane Austen