Perhaps “rubbish titles” is a bit harsh, but you know what? Us readers need inspiring and GALLANT (can titles be gallant? probably not) titles to make us reach across the void (aka: our TBRs) and pluck a certain book from the sea of books out there. Because dang, if I see a ‘meh’ book title (especially if the cover is cringe) then it’s sinking real fast to the bottom of my TBR.

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly event hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl and this week’s prompt is:

Books I’d Give Different Titles To

Now, some of these are not so bad, but I think they could do with better. And mostly it’s just a lot of fun to imagine another title. Because there are plenty of books I can think of that I finally read one day and went: why didn’t I read that sooner?!? And often it was because I didn’t really know what was within its pages. So now seems like a good time to blame the titles. LET’S DO IT.

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1. The Boy Who Followed His Father into Auschwitz
by Jeremy Dronfield

Do you have any idea how hard it is to drop this book casually into conversation? Because by the time you’ve finished the first 20% of the title you need to take a breath and people are just straight up confused. THIS IS WAY TO LONG. I do believe in America this was dubbed “The Stone Crusher” but god knows why because that’s so irrelevant. What this book is about, is very self explanatory. I would title it:

Walking into Auschwitz

Or something more catching. I’m not sold on that one but that’s the best I can come up with on the spot.

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2. The Eyes of Tamburah
by Maria V. Snyder

Is it just me or is this title something you want to get excited about but you keep tripping up on the word Tamburah like WhAt DoEs ThAt MeAn?! I think many more people would reach for this book if the title sounded more adventurous and magical because dang, this is a good book that I’m pretty sure exactly zero people are reading right now. This is about a desert world where people live underground and a precious artefact goes missing. I would title it:

The Water Prince

or:

Empire of Dunes

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3. White Stag
by Kara Barbieri

The second book in this series is going to be called “Goblin King” which, honestly, would’ve been a great title from book one and is at least an improvement. Whilst “White Stag” sounds whimsical, I don’t think it even comes close to scratching what the essence of this story is. This is about a girl who was kidnapped and held captive in the goblin world. I would title this:

The Hunt

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4. The Boneless Mercies
by April Genevieve Tucholke

The heck is this title? What does it mean?? Where does it come from??? This has bothered me for the longest of time because even after I finished reading this I still didn’t understand what in the world the title meant. This is about a group of women who are hired for mercy killings. I would title it:

Maidens of Death

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5. Invictus
by Ryan Graudin

Whilst Invictus is a cool title, I find it unclear and not quite fitting for this book. The main character in this story gives me Guardians of the Galaxy vibes big time. It’s about bounty hunters who loot space and TIME. I would title it:

The Thieves of Time

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6. Pawn
by Aimée Carter

The number of times I’ve brought this up in conversion without thinking and everyone is like . . . you want me to read . . . porn? NOPE. This title is terrible. Clever, but terrible. This is a class-divided world where a lower class girl is made-over to imitate the missing princess and live in the monarch’s house. I would title it:

The Puppet

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That’s a wrap!

Only six books to share with you today because these were the only ones I could really pick problems with, out of what I’ve read. I’m sure there are more and I’d love to hear your thoughts!

What book would you retitle?

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~~ Kirstie ~~

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